Bowling with Manu…

When we think of bowling, we imagine an environment full of lights. With the sound of pins falling. Where people whoop about scores, cheer each other. There is also food, including Pizza that smells yum. In other words, a typical bowling place provides an intense sensory experience, or overload. We used to shy away from such places, since our son Manu would show signs of being overwhelmed; he is on the Autism spectrum. But over time, we have learnt that we can always responsibly try new experiences — he is a resilient dude. If he doesn’t like it, we can always leave — but if he even shows some interest, that’s a…strike! We had been eyeing this bowling place near our home for some time, last Saturday we decided to give it a shot. And we remembered to wear shoes, with socks, since we will need to change to bowling shoes there. Plus, we decided to have lunch at Manu’s favorite place before the bowling activity. Details matter.

First impressions

It was drizzling that day. We parked as close to the door, and rushed in. The place was reasonably packed. It was an older place, no jazzy LCD screens all around — good, less distractions, so lesser variables to sleuth through why Manu could be upset. Of course, we didn’t just go to the ticket counter and get a lane — we always do the “dance”. We spent a full 5 minutes just walking up and down, looking at what others were doing. Spotting rest rooms. Marking the exits. Noting the quieter corners. We spotted the arcade area, walked through it, Manu seemed to notice some of the games. We looked at the food area, there were a few veggie options as well — but that’s for the third or fourth visit, this visit is all about reconnaissance, and well, surviving.

Test the waters

We started with something less risky — Arcade Games. How Arcade Games are setup gives you a good idea of how any place is organized. You could just have a machine that gives you tokens, and takes in quarters or dollars. This makes you line up at another place to get those quarters or dollars, where it is not their primary job, and the change is dispensed with a sigh. This place had a credit card gizmo, with a reloadable card  — check! Then we have to assess how much to load, without too much wastage. After some nerve racking calculations, we decided on $20, which gives approximately 20 tries on various games. Manu readily picked the bike ride, even though he usually has difficulty selecting the options, which involves tilting the bike. But he thoroughly enjoys the sensation. We played that game 3 times. Then despite minor protests, we moved to the next game — and we usually do this to diversify Manu’s experience. We played some Pacman, Basketball — and then we saw this scary looking Zombie shooter game. Manu was OK to get in. It was a full body experience — with sudden bursts of sounds, seat shaking, and gun recoil feedback. Manu loved it — we played it 2 times. Now he was warmed up, and hopefully prepared to wade in to deeper bowling waters.

Jump in

We got in line and paid for just 1 game of bowling, and also got our bowling shoes. It used to be a struggle to make Manu wear new shoes in a new place, now that’s not a big deal. We requested the front desk to bring up the side guard-rails when Manu played, and it was all done smoothly — seems like this was a family friendly, inclusive place. And by the way, without this small detail, nearly all throws would have gone into the gutter, making it supremely uninteresting for both Manu and us. We started the game. We had some seniors having fun next to us, and they looked at Manu’s stance and suggested he keep the left leg in front while he bowled with his right arm. We just told them Manu had special needs, and we were just happy he even chose to stay. They smiled in understanding, and helped us spot the lowest weight balls. Overall, I would say we had fun. Enough to play a second game. But as always, in the middle of the second game, Manu started screaming loudly. I took him out for a walk, while my husband kept playing for all of us. We didn’t know why he was screaming, but then, we always try to get him calm, and get back to the activity. We finished the second game, although it wasn’t as much fun as the first.

Overall, it was a great experience at Kenmore Lanes  — we surived, and we have now introduced a new indoor leisure place for Manu. We have talked about this experience with his Behavior Therpists, and are planning another visit in the next month. The best part was how Manu recalled this experience in the next few days. He talked about the “spooky game” where he shot at monsters. And most amazingly, he said his finger hurt when using the bowling ball, so we got a hint about why he screamed during the second game. By the way, he just doesn’t bring up a topic and wax eloquent about his feelings  — we make it a ritual to keep talking to him incessantly about different topics, that’s a separate post for another day.

We have found that the key with Manu, or any person with special needs, is NOT to assume hard limits. Everyone can learn, and extend their experiences — at their own pace, in their own style. Life is too short not to try.